I didn’t think much had had happened over the last two months, but when I sat down to write about it, I realized a lot has changed.
I turned 17, and I realized that I’m almost an adult. I competed in a horse show for the first time in a long time, and I placed 2nd in one of my classes! I’ve taken my AP exams and finals, and it’s now the last week of school. I’ll find out in a couple days if I’m in the top 10 of my class.
But these last couple months have been…hard. My mental health went on a decline. I’ve been dealing with anxiety my whole life, but this year, it got worse. As the year went on, it seemed to amplify, to the point where it was interfering with every aspect of my life. There have been many days where I woke up wishing I hadn’t, followed by getting in bed as soon as I got home. I wondered what happened for a while, but then I realized that 2017 has been an exhausting year. I lost my uncle in February, broke my toe in March, and had the worst flu of my life in April. My mind and body have been pushed to the absolute limit.
Finally, after years of problems, and this recent flare up, I saw a doctor. We will be looking at counselors soon, and if by the end of the summer things aren’t better, medication may be an option. I never thought it would come to this, but it did. I am proud that I sought help.
On a lighter note, I became president of our FFA chapter! We’ll be having meetings this summer to discuss the year ahead. I’ve decided to not to compete in the FFA, because I feel my energy is best put toward the leading of our chapter. In regards to horses, I plan to start riding twice a week once school starts back! I’ll be done with my dual enrollment classes by 2:15, so that leaves me with more time to ride and work. I look forward to more shows this fall.
To tie up a few loose ends of my earlier posts, my dad is fine! He has arthritis, not deformed bones. As you can imagine, we are relieved, and my dad was pissed at the nurse who told him on the phone that his back “had more abnormalities than could be mentioned on the phone.” Bullshit. Also, I’m staying with my current job and will probably be working during the coming school year, instead of just school breaks.
I want this place to be practice for me as a writer. More book reviews, maybe stories? Whatever this becomes, it’s all mine. And I will treasure it.