(Another) List

  1. I got rid of my night light, and I’ve found that I’m sleeping better. More darkness = deeper sleep.
  2. I have been sitting down and painting on an easel instead of hunching over my desk. The painting I’m doing right now is probably the best thing I’ve ever painted. I have a clearer view of my work, and I’m painting a horse, the animal that inspired all of my artwork until freshman year. I feel so calm when I work on this, I’m happy with how it’s going.
  3. I’m only working on the painting as long as I have good lighting in my room. As soon as it’s too dark to see my colors clearly without additional light, I’m done painting for the day. This is leading to clearer colors and less rushed, out of control work.
  4. I miss riding. My heart aches for the lack of horses. Every photo I see, every video, my heart grieves. I will ride this Saturday. I need to.
  5. My classes are getting increasingly difficult as exam time approaches. I am stressed, and just like the teachers, I’m counting down the days until the year is over.
  6. My dad had his MRI on his back, and his bottom vertebrate are extremely messed up. He may need surgery, which means he’ll be out of work for a while. He gets no disability pay, long or short. I may have to go back to work to help, which I don’t mind. It’s simply a fact that the main source of our income comes from my dad, and without him, the shit will hit the fan. I have no problem working to make ends meet for my parents. It’s the least I can do.
  7. I have the sudden urge to write a book. I started reading a book, based on a true story, about a Japanese man and his adventures at sea in the 1860s. It reminded me of my ancestor Gabriel Sistare, who was a ship captain in the 1600s. We found him on ancestry.com, and I thought about how cool it would be to write a fictional story about him. I really like the book I’m reading now, and I know it would be a good source of inspiration. I also think the movie Ponyo will influence this story, if I write it. Not sure. For now I need to focus on my speech for the public speaking competition in April.
  8. I will hopefully be getting a car in the fall. This summer I plan to save up as much money as possible. If I can save up $1200, $1000 could go toward a car (if the $500 family friend one doesn’t go through) and the $200 would be emergency money, for weeks where I don’t get enough hours or have to have time off, so I can still make insurance payments and get gas. If I get the $500 car, I’ll have a lot more savings, and more of chance of leasing a horse before I go to college.
  9. I realize how much I like to write and paint, and it scares me. I think art will forever have to be a side thing for me, second to the STEM job I have in the future. Not sure how I feel about that.
  10. I am still hopelessly and wonderfully in love with my boyfriend, who makes driving around aimlessly an adventure.

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