A Day of Frustration

My cat loves to wake me up at 3 am. He usually goes out without much of a fuss, but because it was still raining at that time, he refused to go out. So, he came into my room and proceeded to knock crap off my desk, until he finally got bored and let me sleep.

The alarm goes off, and I accidently turn it off instead of hitting snooze and wake up 20 minutes late. Boyfriend shows up early to pick me up, and I completely forget to brush my teeth. I realized this halfway to school, too late to turn back, and I also remembered I had a dentist appointment the same day. Great.

Second period let to a friend being made the butt of a joke, and I didn’t defend her as hard as I should have. Plans to meet my boyfriend while he was at lunch and I was in class (I was going to go down the hall and fill up my water bottle, so then he could come upstairs and we could hang for a second + maybe get some smooches) completely backfired when the friend I was texting to set it up didn’t clarify that he was supposed to come to me, not me to him.

Dentist went fine, I was able to brush my teeth there, but then we had to stop at Walgreens and get my dog’s prescription filled. That wouldn’t be done for another hour, so my mom will have to get it tomorrow. She then proceeded to embarrass me by talking about how she was going to get me an easter basket filled with Frozen stuff, just because I hate it. I can’t talk about anything serious without her trying to change the subject with a “Oh look at this recipe” or “So, the funniest thing happened at work.”Sometimes I think she wishes she had more kids, so she’s always have someone little. I don’t think she likes being mom to a teenager all the time.  I was already mad because it had taken her so long to even get the prescription filled, and she was doing this in front of a bunch of people. She always acts childish when she knows I’m upset. I just wanted to go home. My foot hurt and I was tired.

So we got into the car, and she wanted to go to the fast food place next door, the one I’m still technically employed at. I didn’t say hello to anyone at window, because I had no idea who they were. One of my favorite managers was nearby, but I didn’t feel it was my place to say hello anymore. I’m not working, I’m not one of them. I’m just a 16 year old who still can’t drive, doesn’t work, and was getting a milkshake with her mom.

I just want to be able to grow up, but I feel like I’m stuck. My parents can’t teach me to drive; my mom panics and my dad yells. They want me to do the $300 county driver’s ed course, but I think it would be a waste of their money. That’s partially why I want to go back to work, so I can pay for things like that. Part of me thinks I should ignore the fact that I’ve never gotten a break at work, been shorted money, and constantly feel like the new girl because of the long gaps between when I work, and just go back. But another part wants to start over somewhere else, and not ever have to go back to that place again. I really do like it there, I do. I just don’t know how to feel.

I ate my fries and drank my milkshake in silence on the way home. And of course, the lid on my shake isn’t tight enough and I got it all over my thighs and legs. My dad panics when we get home, like milkshake on the floor of my mom’s car is the end of the world, and when he hovers over me while I wipe it up, I tell him to stop. He hovers when I do anything. I just wanted to be able to clean up spilt milkshake without someone breathing down my neck, telling me I’m doing it wrong.

I’m just tired of being expected to act like an adult, but not being able to do anything most young adults do. I don’t drive, I don’t work, and I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.

I just want to flash forward to freshman year of college, when I’ll have figured out my relationship, be on my own, and finally be out of here.




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